I'm falling, falling, and falling

It's about time I've listened to my iPod. My anxiety reached the top today, my depression was so intense. I remember being 9 years old... I was at the mall with some family or friends. I was walking past the glass where you can look down to the next floor and imagined if I jumped off. Ever since, I have never walked on that side. I see that image of jumping every time. My therapist says thats typical for someone with OCD. Today was more of an inner struggle that I hid from everyone around me. I visited a private school today, I had a campus visit. It was so incredibly nice -- too bad my mom won't support me. Well after that intense session of anxiety someone close to me got in a car crash. These things just never stop. There's always a problem in my life. I hate the way I think, I REALLY do. Some people would call me crazy and others would say I'm completely sane. I'm like a 30 year old 17 year old. I can talk to older people and they're completely comfortable talking to me like any other person. I know that it's not because I make myself seem older -- but it's because people like to confide in others who can relate to the struggles faced my whom ever. I think I want to meet someone who wonders all the same things I do... Like about life. That would be a miracle. My problems wouldn't haunt me so much. Well, Sorry I couldn't write better. Babbling happens when I'm exhausted! I'll write tomorrow.